Desiree Goldey · First Solo Book
Leadership Is a PracticeNot a Personality
Empathy, inclusion, mentorship, and earned authority are not traits you are born with. They are skills you develop, through honest self-reflection.
02 / THE BOOK
What most leadership books get wrong
Most leadership advice sells you a personality type: charismatic, decisive, visionary. This book argues that's the wrong starting point. The leaders who change how their teams work aren't relying on charisma. They're doing the unglamorous internal work: noticing their own blind spots, treating empathy as something you use in the room, not just something you feel, building inclusion into systems instead of talking about it, mentoring without ego, and earning authority instead of assuming it.
Leadership Is a Practice Not a Personality lays out that work in six stages. Not a personality test. A practice you return to, one landing at a time.
The practice runs in six stages: Notice, Reflect, Empathize, Include, Mentor, Lead.
- 01
Notice
What is actually happening, in you and in the room.
- 02
Reflect
Sit with it before you respond to it.
- 03
Empathize
Use it in the room, not just feel it.
- 04
Include
Build it into systems, not statements.
- 05
Mentor
Give it away without ego.
- 06
Lead
Authority you earned, not assumed.
03 / Desiree Goldey · Austin, Texas
Twenty-five years of watching how authority is actually earned
Desiree Goldey is the founder of Do Better Consulting, a speaker, a coach, and co-host of the Talentless podcast. She brings more than 25 years of business, leadership, and talent experience, including nearly a decade building hiring infrastructure for scaling companies: embedded recruiting operations, executive search, and the operational frameworks that let high-growth companies scale without losing what made them worth joining. Diversity, equity, inclusion, and belonging (DEIB) work runs through nearly all of it, built into how she designs hiring systems and develops leaders, not treated as a separate initiative. Leadership Is a Practice Not a Personality is her first solo book.
04 / Top Step
Start the practice before the book is out
A free worksheet pulled straight from Chapter 1: four short exercises to help you notice what's actually happening in you and in the room, plus updates as we get closer to release.
"Leadership is not about having all the answers, looking perfect, or even checking all the boxes. Leadership is about an internal self-awareness, knowing who we are, understanding our weaknesses, embracing our strengths, and being honest about how we show up in the world. Until we truly understand ourselves, we'll never be a leader of real consequence. If we're not self-aware, we're failing as a leader, and we won't even know it to begin with. It's that simple. Self-awareness is the ongoing practice of noticing what's happening within us: thoughts, emotions, assumptions, needs, values, motives, and understanding how our presence lands for others. It's not a personality trait we're born with. It's a skill we build slowly, and over time."
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05 / FAQ
Questions, answered
- What is Leadership Is a Practice Not a Personality about?
- It argues that leadership is a skill built through self-awareness, not a personality type you're born with. The book lays out six stages you actively practice: Notice, Reflect, Empathize, Include, Mentor, and Lead.
- What are the six stages of leadership in the book?
- Notice what's actually happening, in you and in the room. Reflect before you respond. Empathize by using it in the room, not just feeling it. Include by building it into systems, not statements. Mentor by giving it away without ego. Lead with authority you earned, not assumed.
- Is self-awareness a skill or a personality trait?
- According to the book, self-awareness is a skill you build over time through deliberate practice, not a trait you're born with.
- When is Leadership Is a Practice Not a Personality being published?
- It publishes in October 2026 through Guiding Brilliant Writers (GBW) Publishing.
- Who wrote Leadership Is a Practice Not a Personality?
- Desiree Goldey, founder of Do Better Consulting, wrote the book. It's her first solo book, drawing on more than 25 years of business, leadership, and talent experience.
- Can I buy this book for my team or company?
- Yes. Use the form below and I'll follow up directly.
Buying for your team?
Bulk orders for teams, companies, and events. Send an inquiry and I'll follow up directly.