Back to the book

Keynotes and workshops

"That's just who I am" is the most expensive sentence in leadership.

Desiree Goldey, author of Leadership Is a Practice, Not a Personality, shows leaders how to close the gap between what they meant and how it landed. Keynotes and workshops for leadership teams, conferences and associations.

Book Desiree
Desiree Goldey

the gap is where leadership breaks

95%

About 95% of people believe they are self-aware. Only 10 to 15% actually are.

Source: Tasha Eurich, Harvard Business Review, January 2018

79%

Professionals at poor-performing companies were 79% more likely to have low self-awareness.

Source: Korn Ferry Institute, 6,977 self-assessments across 486 public companies, 2015

70%

Managers account for at least 70% of the variance in employee engagement.

Source: Gallup, State of the American Manager, 2015

the signature talk

"That's Just Who I Am": Why Your Personality Isn't Your Leadership

Most leaders know exactly what they meant. Very few know how it landed. That gap between intent and impact is where leadership breaks down, and it almost never announces itself. It shows up as quiet: people who stop bringing problems early, nod in meetings and struggle afterward.

In this keynote, Desiree tells the story of the armor she wore as a leader and the team it trained not to talk to her. Then she puts the room to work. In Meant vs. Landed, a live exercise, every person measures their own gap and names the first signal they missed. From there she walks through the six stages from her book, Notice, Reflect, Empathize, Include, Mentor and Lead, and closes with what leaders owe the people coming up behind them.

Self-awareness is not a personality trait. It is a skill, and this talk shows a room how to build it.

What I meant

I was holding a high bar.

How it landed

Nothing I do is good enough.

What your audience leaves with

A measured gap.

Every person names one moment where their intent and impact split, and how long it took them to notice.

A shared language.

"Meant vs. Landed" becomes something people can say out loud in a meeting without it being an accusation.

One practice to start that night.

A five-minute daily reflection from the book that shrinks the gap from weeks to the same day.

Six stages. One practice.

Notice. Reflect. Empathize. Include. Mentor. Lead.

Formats

Keynote, in person or virtual.

45 to 60 minutes.

The signature talk with the live Meant vs. Landed exercise and Q&A.

Half-day workshop.

3 hours.

The keynote plus extended small-group practice on the six stages, with a worksheet for every participant.

Full-day workshop.

6 hours.

All six stages, Notice through Lead, with exercises from the book and a 30-day commitment plan for every participant.

Keynotes start at $3,500. Nonprofit and association rates available.

The talk starts it. The book keeps it going.

Buy a copy of Leadership Is a Practice, Not a Personality for every attendee and the books come off your keynote fee. Your team also gets the six-session Team Discussion Guide to keep practicing long after the event.

About Desiree

Desiree Goldey is the founder of Do Better Consulting, where she advises founders and talent leaders on building better teams. Her first solo book, Leadership Is a Practice, Not a Personality, makes the case that self-awareness is a leadership skill, not a soft skill, built through honest self-reflection. She has over 25 years in business with a focus on leadership and hiring, has been a guest on more than 50 podcasts, and co-hosts the Talentless podcast. She is based in Austin, Texas.

Spoken at

HR Tech 2025 · RecFest (speaker twice, host once) · Global TA Day (ATAP) · HR 4-U · The Climb · Talent Collective · 50+ podcasts

FAQ for planners

Yes. Desiree is based in Austin and speaks in person anywhere, plus virtually.

Book Desiree

Tell us about your event. We reply to every inquiry within two business days.